The Irken Matrix
by Slurpee Monster
Summary: The Tallests have decided to take over the Earth after all, and they turned it into an Irken entertainment planet. Lard Nar hopes to free it with the help of his crew and the chosen one. Of course Gaz isn't helpful and Zim keeps trying to betray him.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:** I'm going to try to follow the Matrix's plot to the best of my ability, but there will be some key differences you'll probably notice… like the complete lack of romance between the Neo and Trinity characters for obvious reasons. You don't have to have seen the Matrix in order to understand what's going on, or the characters, because the characters are all from Invader Zim.

**Warning:** If you have seen the Matrix but have no idea what Invader Zim is you will be deeply deeply confused.

If you have seen the Matrix, here's a list of all the characters and who they are:

Dib: Neo

Gaz: Trinity

Zim: Cypher

Tallest Red?: Agent Jones (or something)

Tallest Purple?: Agent Brown (or something)

Tak: Agent Smith

Tallest Miyuki?: The Oracle

Torque: Choi

Nebber: A more simplistic name for the ship.

(From the Resisty)

Lard Nar: Morpheus

Shloonktapooxis: Mouse

Spleenk: Tank/Dozer

Cloaked alien: Switch

The Letter M: Apoc

Skoodge: Gizmo

Bill: Hacksaw

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Invader Zim or the Matrix. Thank you.

* * *

**Inside the Matrix**

Gaz was sitting in a chair on board the Nebber playing her Gameslave. The room was quiet with only the green numbers running on the computer next to her making any sound at all.

She wasn't sure how long she had been a part of the Resisty, but it was starting to feel like forever. There were never any new games. She was always playing the same one.

When she heard the door slide open she didn't even bother to look up.

"Gaz?" the captain said with a slight bit of confusion in his voice. "Shouldn't you be in the Matrix looking for the chosen one?"

The girl grunted and turned away from him. This was usually the signal for the person speaking to her to go away, but since Lard Nar was the captain, he wasn't easily intimidated like the rest of the crew was.

"I don't think you understand how important this is…" he began, and Gaz knew he was going to start one of his long boring lectures. "The reason we rescued you was because we thought you might be the chosen one, but you're not. You're still very important however because of your skill in the Matrix. We need you to use that skill to help us find the chosen one ok?"

"Zim's doing it…" Gaz muttered.

"Really?" Lard Nar asked, and he looked around to see which portal the Irken was hooked up to. When he didn't see Zim anywhere, he turned back to Gaz who gestured behind one of the desks.

"Over there," she told him. "He wouldn't shut up, so I made him pay…"

Lard Nar peeked over the counter and found Zim lying beaten and sprawled out on the floor. There was a wire attached to one of the ports from his Pak. The captain gaped and quickly went to the Irken's side.

"Is he dead?" Lard Nar asked as he studied the wire poking out from Zim's Pak.

Gaz shrugged. "I don't know."

"… why me? Why…? I could have been locked up in a prison on my home planet without any of these problems, but no… I had to break out and form a freaken resistance!" Usually Lard Nar hated the idea of being locked up along side his people, but since they had 'rescued' Gaz, he'd been thinking about this possibility much more often.

"You can always go back to where you came from," Gaz growled. She was starting to get a little irritated with the captain.

"That would be pretty pointless," Lard Nar responded sounding equally annoyed. "I've come this far haven't I?" Gaz scoffed and opened her mouth to say something else, but the captain waved his hand to cut her off.

"That's enough human, I've had enough of your pessimism! You could at least try to be hopeful. We are working on freeing your planet after all."

"I never asked for your help," Gaz muttered, but she decided not to say anything else.

When Lard Nar had managed to free Zim from the Matrix, he reached to help the Irken off the floor, but Zim immediately smacked his hand away and stumbled backwards clutching his spooch area. There was green blood spilling onto the floor the captain quickly realized, blinking.

"You're bleeding," Lard Nar told him. "Hurry and patch yourself up before you get blood on the controls."

"That wretched human!" Zim spat, blood dribbling from his mouth. He wiped this away and steadied himself with one hand on the desk. "How dare you trap ZIM in that pitiful world of human slaves!? I should..."

"That's enough," Lard Nar cut him off. "Why don't you tell me why you had one of the ports operating without Spleenk's supervision?"

"Heh heh…" Zim looked around nervously. "Well…"

"He was hoping to get me to go into the Matrix so he could give my location away to the Tallests," Gaz replied.

"Stop interrupting Zim!" The Irken shouted.

Gaz shot him a death glare, and Zim quickly fell silent.

Lard Nar sighed and held his forehead. Of course only Zim would think of doing something that stupid. "They aren't going to take you back Zim, you might as well accept that and help us."

"You know nothing!" Zim accused. "I can't stand being trapped here with a bunch of inferior aliens!"

"If you're going to start acting like a smeet Zim, I'm going to have to lock you up again," Lard Nar told him with a knowing smirk.

"Fine," the Irken said folding his arms over his chest. "Zim will behave. Oh yes… Zim will behave like a good little Resisty-er and then… I will rain destruction and doooom on you all!"

"SHUT. UP." Gaz warned balling one of her hands into a fist and raising it in a threatening manner.

"You're both going to drive me crazy…" Lard Nar spoke quietly to himself. He cleared his throat and summoned their attention again. "How about that boy we've been watching? Have you had any luck getting in contact with him?"

"I've tried… but Dib's head is so stupid he doesn't listen," Gaz replied, and she lowered the Gameslave away from her face.

"He is your brother correct?" Lard Nar asked.

"Unfortunately."

"The Dib was a horrible stupid pig-beast," Zim remarked. "He was always trying to expose me, ZIM, but he never did!" The Irken cackled at this, but no one bothered to respond to him. Zim was just being Zim after all.

"He listens to the voices in his head, so I thought he would listen to me," Gaz rationalized. "I guess it just made him more paranoid than usual. He hasn't left his apartment."

"Why don't we just write him a letter or something?" Lard Nar suggested. "He has a computer right? We can just re-write the Matrix's code a little bit in that area and… Zim!? Where do you think you're going? You are not allowed to leave this ship understand!?"

"Let go of Zim's arm Vort-filthy!"

_

Inside a futuristic capsule filled with life giving fluid, a figure stirred. His mind was connected to a large machine which generated the Matrix. His body was suspended in fluid, but his mind was racing with thoughts and memories of a place that didn't exist outside the program.

Bang Bang.

Dib woke with a start when he heard someone banging on the door. He glanced at the clock and muttered something to himself before turning to the computer screen. "Hey… this isn't the Bigfoot article I was reading…" he mumbled to himself as he adjusted his glasses.

_You better listen to me Dib, or I'm going to make you feel pain like you've never felt before…_

His eyes widened, and he reread the message.

Bang bang.

"Hey Dib, its Torque," the person at the door called. "Open up."

Dib turned off his monitor before going to answer the door which was bolted shut. He undid the numerous locks and bolts, and he peered out.

"Hey Torque…" he greeted.

"So… are you going to make me stand out here all day or are you going to invite me in?"

"I didn't actually think you would come," Dib admitted opening the door wider so Torque could step inside.

"What can I say? I'd do anything to get away from that Keef kid, besides; you said you were going to give me that new hacker program you've been working on."

Dib raised a brow, and Torque frowned and folded his bulky arms over his chest.

"Oh! That program! Right… actually I kind of forgot about it because of that new bigfoot sighting that happened a few days ago," Dib said raising his hands up defensively.

"Whatever man…" Torque replied looking away. He turned back to Dib after a while, his frown replaced by a concerned expression. "So have you heard anything about your sister that went missing?"

"No… there's no trace of her. The police say they're doing all they can."

"That's too bad man… and your father?"

"They still say it was an accidental death; a chemical explosion in one of his labs."

Torque was quiet for a moment. Finally he sighed. "So why did you call me out here? Don't tell me you're just lonely. That's why I keep telling you to get a girlfriend." When Dib didn't reply he sighed again. "Look… me and some of the guys from school are going to a party tonight, and if you aren't doing anything I guess you can tag along with us."

"I don't really like leaving the apartment…"

"You're going to get fired from your job if you keep missing days like this..." he walked back out into the hall and turned to regard Dib once more. "I'll come back later to pick you up, and you know none of your excuses are going to work with me, so just accept you're coming already."

"Fine, I guess I could leave for a little while. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Dib replied as Torque waved over his shoulder and continued towards the stairwell.

Dib closed the door and bolted it shut as soon as Torque was gone. Since his father died and his sister disappeared, Torque had been coming over more frequently. At first it was because Dib offered him Gaz's old game systems, but recently he'd been coming over for almost no reason at all.

When he turned around, he froze and stared wide eyes at his computer that had somehow turned its self back on. It was also typing on its own. He quickly sat down in his computer chair and leaned in close to read the words.

_How dare you ignore me Dib! How dare you! When we find you, I'm going to make you wish you were never born, understand!?_

"What is this…?" Dib asked himself out loud.

_I'm not supposed to use my name, but I thought that even someone as stupid as you would have figured it out by now._

"A ghost?"

_Think harder Dib…_

"Wait!" Dib exclaimed nearly tipping over in his chair. "Are you Gaz's ghost!?"

_Close enough moron… now stop acting stupid and come out of your apartment. Lard Nar wants to meet with you for some reason._

"Wait… you're Gaz…?" Dib questioned staring at his computer screen stupidly.

_DIB… IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HUNT YOU DOWN AND TEAR THAT STUPID MACHINE FROM YOUR HEAD…_

_Sorry about that Dib, your sister isn't being very cooperative._

"Wait… what do you mean you'll tear the machine from my head?" Dib asked feeling the back of his head with both hands. "There's nothing there."

_No kidding…_

_That was your sister again… She refuses to give me the keyboard! _

"Oh I get it… you're some sick person who gets a kick out of tormenting others on the internet. Well that's not going to work on me you see!" Dib said as he pulled his computer's main cable from the wall. "Take that Psycho hacker!"

_Loser._

The white letters scrolled across the black screen, and Dib's eyes widened in surprise. "But… wait. My computer doesn't have any power! How can you still be typing?"

_Have you ever heard of the Matrix?_

_Of course you've heard of the Matrix Dib! You wouldn't shut up about it!"_

"Ok wait… there are two of you? Can just one of you type at a time?" Dib asked.

_Just follow the creepy dog._

"Wait… what do you mean creepy dog?" Dib asked gripping the sides of his monitor, but the screen had gone blank. "The creepy dog…? That could be any dog in the city."

Dib was too distracted by the strange message on his computer to think about Bigfoot anymore. Instead he lay on his bed and tried to figure out what the hacker could possibly want with him. He'd heard the name Lard Nar before; he was a wanted criminal but he knew more about the Matrix than anyone else.

Sure Dib made illegal programs sometimes when he was bored, but to associate himself with a dangerous guy when he was getting close to a promotion wasn't something he really wanted to do, but he was pretty sure that had been his sister talking to him.

"Well… if Gaz is as scary as a ghost as she was in real life, I better do what she says…" he decided. Besides, Lard Nar was infamous at the office. It might be interesting to meet him face to face.

Torque came by an hour later with Zita and a girl with purple hair he assumed was Gretchen. He hadn't seen either of them since Middle school.

"Alright man, ready to go?" Torque asked and Zita scoffed and hung onto his arm. "I don't understand why we have to bring him along. He's only going to say something crazy and embarrass us," she said.

"Zita, relax," Torque told her evenly. "Dib's been through a lot these past few years. It couldn't hurt to have him hang out for a night."

The unfamiliar girl was wearing sunglasses, and she kept her head turned to avoid looking at Dib. She had a dog on a leash, and it stared up at him with large crazy eyes. Dib blinked down at it. The creature kind of looked like the dog that would follow him and Gaz to school sometimes.

"Hey, that dog…" Dib began, and the girl growled. "Yeah? What about it?"

Dib raised his hands up defensively. "Nothing… it's just…"

"Come on guys, I've called us a Taxi, it's going to be here any minute," Torque remarked. He led Zita by the arm and Dib followed them outside to the yellow taxi that had pulled up to the curb. The girl with the dog seemed familiar with Torque, and he held the door open for both ladies before squishing into the back with them. This left Dib with the passenger's seat next to the driver.

It dropped them off in front of a nightclub. There was no line, and since Torque knew the security guy standing out front they were able to get in without any problems.

The bright lights flashed from the ceiling as wild music played in the background. Torque and Zita wasted little time joining the dancers on the floor while the girl and her dog took a seat at the bar.

Remembering what the message had said, Dib joined her, and she removed her glasses and stared at him with a very serious expression. "Here," she said pulling a cell phone from her jacket pocket. "I was going to have it delivered to you, but Lard Nar insisted I bring it now."

"Oh uh… thanks?" Dib replied holding the phone up to take a better look at it. "What am I supposed to do with it?" he asked.

"Wait for a call duh," she answered. She bent down and unhooked the little dog from its leash.

"Who are you anyway?"

"Don't you recognize me moron? I'm Gaz."

Dib's mouth fell open. His sister had become a grown woman since the last time he saw her. "Gaz… but… they told me you were dead."

"You were right about the Matrix," she begrudgingly admitted. "Take the call. I have to leave."

"But…" Dib tried to protest when Gaz rose from her seat.

"Stop it Dib. You can't come."

"Why not? Where are you going?"

"I can't tell you," she hissed between clenched teeth. "Can you do this or not Dib?"

"Yeah… sure I can take the call, but Gaz!" he reached out to stop her, but she balled her hands into fists and pulled away.

"I mean it Dib, touch me and I'll make you regret it," she turned and began to walk away much to Dib's confusion. He watched her disappear into the crowd before sitting back down at the bar.

He stayed until he was kicked out in the early morning. Torque had left with Zita hours ago and he couldn't find a pay-phone to call a cab. After debating for a little while, he decided to use the cell phone Gaz gave him to call a taxi.

When he got home he bolted the door shut and fell into bed. He stayed up a few hours pondering about what had happened that day. Gaz was alive, or at least she seemed to be alive. "Wait…" he sat up and stared at his computer. "She's the one that hacked into my computer! But coming back to life… I really hope she isn't a zombie. Maybe she never died… and I'm talking to myself again. Great."

* * *

**More Notes: **I'll try to update this one at least once a week... yup. Good luck to me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes/Disclaimer: **I didn't do a good job of breaking the fic into proper chapters. Something tells me sixteen pages is probably a little bit long. I split this one in half though, so you probably won't burn out before the end. I still don't own anything by the way.

* * *

**Dib: the Unfortunate One**

"I'm late!" Dib yelled bolting from his apartment. He got half way down the stairwell before he realized he forgot to shut the door, and he ran back, closed the door, and locked it quickly before rushing downstairs and out into the street. He only had a few hours of sleep to survive on, and he hadn't had time to make himself breakfast or even find a matching pair of socks.

He reached into his coat pocket to make sure he had the cell phone Gaz had given him the night before. Since he was a believer in most things unnatural, he never doubted that he'd seen her.

The bus was ready to pull out from the bus stop when he reached the corner, and he hollered at it to wait and waved his arms to catch the bus driver's attention. Luckily for him the old man driving the bus saw him and let him on.

Sighing, Dib reached into his pockets to pull out some change. At least he had made it on the bus this time. He would still be a little late for work, but not nearly as late as he would have been if he had to wait for the next bus to bring him across town.

The company's building was over forty stories high, and Dib worked on the thirty sixth floor. He tried the elevators but one of them was broken and the other one had to make seven stops before it could reach him, so Dib took the stairs. When he finally made it to his desk he was twenty minutes late and completely out of breath.

Panting, Dib collapsed in his chair. When he looked up, he made a startled noise and nearly fell backwards. His boss was standing right there.

"You're late again…" the boss who was known as Mr. Lue said crossly. He was a burly middle aged man with a goatee who looked more like a trucker than a serious business man. "Do you have a problem with authority Dib? Every employee is supposed to be here on time. If one person is late, it slows the whole company down, understand me?"

"Yes sir…" Dib replied lowering his head.

His boss strode back to his office and Dib let out another sigh.

"Mr. Din, a letter for you," the company's mail carrier said cheerily as he came by Dib's desk.

"My name is Dib."

"Right, whatever. Here you go," the young man handed Dib the letter and strolled away.

Dib carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter. It read:

_Turn the cell phone back on._

_Sincerely, Lard Nar_

Dib placed the note down and pulled the cell phone from his pocket. He looked around to make sure no one was watching him before turning it on and hiding it under his desk. It started ringing almost immediately, and he answered it.

"Hello Dib, I guess you probably know who this is by now," the voice on the other line said.

"You're Lard Nar right? Did you guys really hack into cooperate?"

"Your sister did that. I believe she went by the code name Piggy Hunter," Lard Nar cleared his throat. "But I'm not calling you to talk about that. We're running out of time Dib."

"What do you mean… and did your voice just get really creepy?"

"I was trying to be dramatic."

"Please don't do that again…"

"Right. Anyway, we just found out that they're after you."

"Who's after me?" Dib asked frowning a little.

"Stand up and see."

"Wait… you're joking right?"

"I'm not joking. Look towards the elevator."

Dib slowly peeked over his cubical, and he gasped when he saw three people dressed in FBI uniforms leaving the elevator. They walked over to the main desk and began talking to the secretary. Dib ducked back down and clutched the cell phone tighter in his hand.

"What do they want from me?" he whispered.

"I don't know exactly, but I can help you get out."

"How can you do that? Where are you anyway? It sounds like you can see me but I can't see you anywhere."

"I've already told you, we don't have time for this," Lard Nar remarked. "Now will you do what I say?"

"I guess I don't really have much of a choice… ok."

"Go to the cubical across from yours."

"Alright… here goes nothing…" Dib said as he lunged into the next cubical and fell awkwardly onto the floor.

"Hey!" the woman working at her desk snapped and she stepped on his hand.

"Ouch…" Dib muttered rubbing his new bruise. "You never told me there was someone in here!"

"You can complain later. Just stay down, they're coming."

Dib held his breath as the FBI agents passed by the cubical. When they realized he wasn't there, they began looking around the room. The shortest of the three looked very familiar…

"Tak…?" Dib whispered, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Huh? Did you say something? I was kind of brewing myself something to drink," Lard Nar spoke. "You haven't been caught or anything have you?"

"Hey, you're supposed to be helping me," Dib hissed into the receiver.

"I am. Now go to the end of the row."

Dib got to his feet and crouched low as he began moving down the row of cubicles. When he reached the end he exhaled and started looking for a way out.

"Great… now I'm on the opposite side of the room from where the doors are…" he muttered. "A lot of help you are."

"There is a scaffold."

"A what!?"

"Shh! They'll hear you!" Lard Nar snapped. He cleared his throat and took a swing of his drink before speaking again. "Alright… now I want you to open that window closest to you and climb out. Don't worry, there's a scaffold there. You're good at climbing right?"

"Well I once followed a Bigfoot baby up a jungle gym, but I wouldn't say I was good at climbing."

"You can climb down the scaffold, or you can leave with the FBI. The choice is up to you. I'd stay and offer some words of encouragement but the battery on this thing is almost dead. Good luck Dib."

Click. Beeeep.

Dib hung up the cell phone and stuck it back in his pocket. He reached for the window and opened it fully. "Alright… I can do this… it isn't that much different than a jungle gym…" He stepped out onto the ledge and lowered himself onto the scaffolding. When he was sure he had a good grip on it, he began to climb down.

"This isn't so hard," Dib told himself. No sooner had he spoke those words than an angry bee decided to visit the scene. It buzzed around Dib's head and he tried to swat it away. "Oh come on, not now!" he exclaimed before losing his grip. "Ahhhhh!" He fell twenty nine stories and landed on top of a hobo. The fall knocked him out cold.

"Stupid Dib…" Gaz muttered irritably, and she crushed a half full soda can in her hand. She had been watching from across the street. Of course her brother had to mess everything up.

Dib woke up in a small dark room. He was sitting behind a desk, and there was someone sitting across from him dressed in black.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes.

"Finally, I've been waiting forever for you to wake up," the short figure said irritably. The voice sounded familiar, and Dib let out a gasp when he realized the person sitting there was Tak. She was wearing the same disguise she wore in elementary school.

"Tak? I thought Zim blasted you into space…" Dib said gawking a little.

The female Irken growled and clenched her hands into fists. "He did," she spat. "That moron wouldn't have been able to stop me if you didn't interfere… but that's in the past. I've brought you here for another reason. The FBI has been keeping its eye on you Dib." She placed a file down on the table in front of Dib and opened it up. "It seems you've been creating hacker programs and selling them on the side."

"Well it's not like my job really pays me enough money…" Dib muttered. "I have to pay the rent somehow."

"You also killed that hobo you landed on."

"Oh… I did? That was an accident."

"What's most troubling to us is that you've been able to hack into several important databases of ours… and you've recently come in contact with a Vort… I mean a man known as Lard Nar."

"He called me once," Dib admitted.

"Anyway…" Tak continued grinding her teeth. "My colleagues believe you're a lost cause since you were associated with Zim, but I know you Dib. We used to go to school together. Sure it was only for one very unfortunate day, but during that time we connected didn't we?"

"Uhh… sure?" Dib answered folding his hands on the table.

"All I want from you Dib is your help in catching Lard Nar. He's the leader of the terrorist group known as the Resisty… mind you it's not a very well organized terrorist group, but they are causing problems for us. If you decide to help us, I will personally see that all these documents are burned. You can live the rest of your life without worrying about going to jail. What do you say?"

"I've actually been wondering why you came back to Earth… and why you joined the FBI."

"That's not something you need to know," Tak responded snatching the documents away. "So Dib… do we have a deal?"

"Sorry Tak, but I want to meet this Lard Nar guy… he's kind of a legend you know? Everyone in the office has heard of him…"

"I was hoping you'd be able to see it our way Dib, but it looks like I have no choice."

She snapped her fingers, and Irken wires and other high tech gadgets appeared from the shadows, startling Dib who nearly fell off his chair.

"You're going to help us Dib," Tak remarked menacingly as she advanced on him with a strange alien device in her hand. "I'm not giving you a choice."

"Wait! Tak! Can't we talk about this!?" Dib asked leaping off his chair. He slammed himself into the wall and began searching for a door that apparently didn't exist.

"The time for talking is over Dib, now hold still."

He gasped and bolted upright in his bed. When he realized he was back in his apartment, he lay back down and sighed in relief. "It was just a dream…" he mumbled rolling over to face the doorway.

The phone in the kitchen began to ring, and he slowly got out of bed to answer it.

"I can't talk for very long because the phone is tapped," the voice on the other end spoke quickly.

"Wait… is this Lard Nar?" Dib asked.

"They don't know how important you are. That's probably why you're still alive."

"Hold on! You didn't tell me I could possibly die from any of this!"

"Oh yeah, and I'm sure a lot of people survive falling thirty floors from their office building," Lard Nar remarked sarcastically. "Anyway, the time has come for us to meet."

"I don't know if I want to meet you anymore…" Dib muttered.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing…"

"Just come to the Mada Street Bridge alright?"

"When should I do that?"

"Now." Click.

Dib made a face as he set his phone down. "What an unreliable guy…" he said grabbing his house keys off the counter. He unbolted his door and walked out into the hallway. When he was sure his door was securely locked, he headed down the stairwell and out into the street.

The bridge was only a half hour from his house, and he decided to walk instead of taking the subway. It was dark out and a little chilly. He wasn't sure exactly how long he'd been asleep for, but he guessed it was probably a few hours to sunrise.

A black cab pulled in front of him, and Gaz opened the side door. "You're late," she stated giving him an angry look. "Get in."

Dib quickly climbed into the back of the car with Gaz. As soon as he closed the door, the driver sped off with tires squealing and the engine roaring loudly. Gaz shoved a gun in his face and held up a roll of ducked tape in her hand.

"Wait… what are you doing?" Dib asked backing himself against the window.

"What do you think? I'm blindfolding you moron," Gaz replied tearing off a strip of tape and reaching for his face.

"Yeah I kind of noticed that part, but you haven't said why."

"Do you have to keep questioning everything I do? You're so annoying."

Despite Dib's protests, Gaz was able to overpower him. She wrapped a large strand of ducked tape over his eyes before sitting back in her seat.

"I really don't think this is necessary," Dib spoke as he tried to pull the tape from his face.

"Leave it if you know what's good for you…" Gaz growled. She pulled out her cell phone and began to dial. "This is Gaz. I've got him; I'm bringing him to you now."

"That's a little ominous…" Dib remarked, and Gaz punched him in the stomach as she hung up her phone.

"Stop whining whiner."

The cab pulled in front of a tall building and stopped next to the curb. Gaz shoved Dib out before climbing out herself. There was a black van parked in front of this building, and she grabbed him by the arm and began dragging him towards it.

A boy was standing outside. He was short and a little on the podgy side. When he saw Gaz he grinned and moved to greet her.

"Hey sweet cakes!" he said, and she punched him in the face without missing a beat.

"Shut up Skoodge," she warned giving him a nasty look.

Rubbing his sore face, Skoodge turned to the blind-folded Dib and scowled. "So this is the guy? He doesn't look very impressive."

"Lard Nar must have finally lost it if he thinks my brother can do anything," Gaz agreed.

"I might be blind at the moment, but I can still hear you know," Dib said.

"Let's go already," Gaz remarked ignoring her brother.

"Alright Bill, load up the van," Skoodge called, and a man wearing dark glasses and a black hat grabbed Dib and shoved him into the van.

"There we go," he said dusting off his gloves. "After this is over I might still have time to look for those Sewer Gnomes."

"Yeah, that's great," Skoodge replied mindlessly. Gaz climbed into the back of the Van while Bill opened up the secret under ground entrance that led beneath the road. Skoodge hopped into the back as well, making sure to keep his distance from Gaz. When Bill returned, he got into the driver's seat and floored the van into the underground passage.

Skoodge was tossed forward, and he ended up smacking into the front seat. Dib flew in the same direction and crushed Skoodge while Gaz remained unfazed.

"Would you… please not do that…" Skoodge murmured as he tried to breathe.

"Oh, sorry," Bill replied glancing over his shoulder. "I forgot I wasn't chasing after anything."

Bill pulled over to the side of the underground road and placed the van in park. Skoodge and Dib had only just recovered when Gaz grabbed Dib and forced him to lie on a fold-out table that had popped out from the wall during Bill's mad driving episode.

"We should be safe for the moment, I don't think those machine guys can get us down here," Bill told everyone looking smug.

"Don't be so sure," Skoodge replied. "The Tallests know every area of this place. If we don't get the bug out of him now, they'll catch us for sure."

He turned off his hologram, revealing his Irken form. "Alright Bill… lets get started. Hand me the bottle of anaesthetic and a needle."

"Wait… what are you guys doing?" the blind folded Dib asked as he tried to sit up. His sister kept him pinned down however, so he was unable to move very much.

"Shut up Dib," she said in her usual annoyed fashion.

"Relax worm-baby. You just have an Irken Wikkernit in you. It's kind of like a probe, but it acts like a tracker. If we don't get it out of you now you'll lead the FBI right to Lard Nar," Skoodge explained as he filled a needle with a numbing anaesthetic. "Hold him down Gaz."

"What do you think I'm doing?" she retorted.

"How do you know even know I have one in me!?" Dib demanded.

"Easy, this van is bug sensitive. You triggered the silent alarm the second you entered," Bill explained. He handed Skoodge the x-ray goggles, and the Irken placed them over his eyes. He turned them on and adjusted the magnification.

Gaz got tired of forcing Dib to hold still. Instead, she grabbed some straps from under the table and tied him down so he wouldn't be able to escape.

"There it is!" Skoodge exclaimed. He was looking at Dib's head which was the usually place Irkens liked to put probes and things. "Alright, I'm just going to use the anaesthetic so you don't feel me removing it alright?"

"Sure whatever…" Dib sighed. "Why me?"

After Skoodge had used the anaesthetic, he pulled out his Pak's miniature teleporter that was kind of like a small reverse vacuum cleaner. Zim had used the same device to suck children's organs from their body's back in elementary school, and when Dib heard the familiar sound he freaked and began to struggle violently until Gaz struck him between the eyes and told him to 'stop whining.'

Skoodge managed to get the probe out on the second try. Unfortunately he also took out a part of Dib's brain which he quickly put back into place by using the reverse switch on his teleporter.

"There! That wasn't so hard," he said holding up the device that began to squirm and make a bunch of interesting sounds. Skoodge impaled it on his Pak leg, completely destroying it. "We can take him to see Lard Nar now."

"Good. Let's go," Gaz remarked folding her arms over her chest and looking away.

"Bill, start up the van," Skoodge said as he leapt into the passenger's seat.

"Huh? What? Oh, you finished already?" the former paranormal investigator questioned lowering the magazine on alien cows he'd been reading. He started up the van and drove it through the underground passage until they returned to the surface.

* * *

**More Notes**: Updates should continue. Sorry for falling a bit behind. Once I finish a fic I usually move onto something else, and I sometimes forget to post the ones I finished.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes/Disclaimer: **I have many excuses for why I stopped keeping up with my supposed weekly updates, but I'm not going to say what they are. I'll try to post another chapter next week in between studies and job searches and whatever else might pop up at me.

Good times. I own nothing.

**Meeting Lard Nar **

They ended up outside the city at a rundown little hotel. Bill stopped the van in an abrupt fashion which sent Skoodge smack into the windshield. The small Irken grumbled and straightened his antennae. "How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that!?"

Gaz ripped the straps off Dib's arms and legs and dragged her older brother out of the van.

"Can I take the tape off now?" he asked reaching for it.

"I guess…" Gaz grumbled. She didn't give him anytime to remove the tape however. She grabbed him by the arm and forcefully led him to the building. Skoodge followed after her pausing only once to shout at Bill to watch the van.

The three of them entered the hotel and road the small elevator up to the last floor. Dib was finally able to get the tape off his eyes while they waited for the elevator doors to open.

"Why are you coming?" Gaz asked Skoodge.

"It was either come with you guys or ride with Bill in that van again. What did you think I'd do?"

"Hey wait a minute… you're an alien!" Dib shouted pointing at the small Irken. "And you're the same kind of alien as Zim!"

"No duh," Gaz replied rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I was blindfolded, I couldn't see until now!" Dib stated.

The elevator doors opened and Skoodge raised his hands in a defensive manner and smiled amiably. "I might be an Irken, but I'm on your side. I've been helping Lard Nar for the past four years."

"Quiet," Gaz interrupted. "We're here."

She led Skoodge and Dib from the elevator to room 1313 and entered without as much as a backwards glance. Dib looked around the hall nervously wondering if he should follow her in or not.

"Don't worry about it," Skoodge said elbowing the much taller human in the leg. "Lard Nar isn't as scary as the FBI makes him out to be. He's wanted to meet you for a long time, especially since Zim won't shut up about how you used to foil all of his plans."

"Zim's here?" Dib asked in surprise. "I thought he went back to Irk."

Skoodge shrugged. "Well I'm going to pay my respects to the captain. Coming?"

"I didn't go through all of this for nothing," Dib said "Of course I'm coming."

Lard Nar wasn't wearing any kind of human disguise though he was dressed in a similar fashion to the FBI. He wore a long black jacket and dark glasses over his usual uniform which was different than any kind of uniform Dib had seen.

"Sir," Skoodge said as he approached the lone desk in the room. Lard Nar was sitting on a chair behind it. The Vortian seemed surprised to see the Irken at first, and he was a little wary. When he realized that it was just Skoodge however, the Vortian relaxed and turned to Gaz.

"You didn't tell me Skoodge was coming with you," he accused her. "I thought we'd been found out for a moment."

"Whatever," Gaz remarked. She was leaning against the wall and she had an unreadable expression on her face. "Can I leave now?"

"Sure, fine," Lard Nar replied waving her away. She left the room without looking at either Dib or Skoodge, and Lard Nar sighed before turning his attention to the Irken.

"Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you have returned to the hideout with Bill?"

"Actually sir, I've come to ask for a partner change… I just can't handle that guy's horrible driving and short attention span anymore."

"I'll think about it," Lard Nar replied. "But I'd really like to talk to Dib right now ok?"

Skoodge sighed and hung his head. "Yes sir…" he said as he slowly made his way to the door.

When he had gone, Lard Nar looked over at Dib who had been watching everything quietly.

"Scared yet?" the Vortian teased.

"What kind of alien are you?" Dib asked completely off topic. Lard Nar sighed and held his head. He was going to have to start with the basics.

"I'm a Vortian," Lard Nar replied. He gestured to the chair across from his, and Dib was reminded of the dark room he'd been trapped in with Tak.

"I'll stand," he said, and Lard Nar gave him a questioning look. The Vortian shrugged it off.

"You've probably guessed this already, but I'm Lard Nar."

Dib nodded, but his expression remained grim.

"You were expecting someone a bit different?" Lard Nar questioned tilting his head.

"Well… I was kind of expecting someone more human actually, and taller. You aren't what I was expecting at all."

"Heh…" Lard Nar's smile became forced and he lowered his gaze. "I'm a little shorter than average I guess...." He cleared his throat and sat up straight in his chair. "Anyway, I've called you here for a very important reason. You're probably confused about all that's been going on and I'm ready to explain myself the best I can."

"You came to see me because of my sister and Zim right?"

"No, not exactly…" Lard Nar admitted. "I've been looking for someone who has the power to destroy the Irken Empire… and I believe that person is you Dib."

"Me? Destroy the Irken Empire?" Dib asked drawing back in surprise. "You mean defeat the Irkens? The Tallests?"

"You know of the Tallests?" Lard Nar asked mystified. "How? Your people don't seem to know anything about Irkens or anything else as a matter of fact…"

"I was always trying to get into Zim's base when I was younger," Dib started to explain. "One time I managed to get in, and Zim's robot called the Tallests." He chuckled at this memory. "I tried asking them a whole bunch of questions but they just looked at me funny and continued doing whatever they were doing. Then there was this one time a few months later I was spying on Zim and…" he paused and grinned. "Anyway, I know exactly who you're talking about."

"Do you know what's happened to your planet since then?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Everything seems the same to me."

"It isn't Dib. Not by a long shot," Lard Nar leaned back in the chair and extended his arms. "Take a look around you. Everything here is a part of the Matrix."

"You mean… the legendary program? The one that's supposed to be impossible to crack? How can it be here?" Dib's face lit up as though he suddenly understood. "You have it don't you?"

"No, that's not it at all," Lard Nar said, and he let out a sigh. "We are in the Matrix. Everything you see right now is a part of the Irken's super program. It's the entire world."

Dib's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

"Do you want to sit down now?" Lard Nar asked gesturing to the empty seat across from him. Dib nodded mutely and moved to take the available seat.

"You've been trapped in the Matrix for over seven years Dib. You're inside a prison you can't feel, taste, or touch. It' a prison for your mind. You won't be able to understand this properly until you see it for yourself, and that's why I'm here."

Lard Nar held out both hands. In one hand he had a red pill and in the other a blue pill. "Take them."

Dib reached out and took the pills. He felt them and looked at them both very closely. "What are these for?" he asked.

"If you take the blue pill you'll wake up at home and you can believe whatever you want to believe… if you take the red pill you get to come with me on this little adventure to destroy the Irken Machine."

"That's an easy choice," Dib remarked moving the red pill closer to his mouth.

"It's not going to be all gun battles and movie stuff you know," Lard Nar cut in. He thought the young man was being too careless about his choice. "You might learn stuff you don't want to know, and you'll have to put up with Zim again."

Dib popped the red pill in his mouth and swallowed. "Now what?"

The Vortian sighed and hung his head. "That's the problem with some of you aliens… you never think before you do something. Oh well…" he stood up from his chair and began heading for the room Gaz and Skoodge had gone through earlier. "Follow me."

He led Dib into the other room which is filled with human technology. There were rows of monitors, their screens glowing green, and wires covered the floor.

Gaz scoffed. She was leaning against the wall playing her Gameslave. "Took long enough," she muttered not bothering to look up.

Sitting in front of the monitors was a man around Dib's age, and Skoodge was standing close by as well.

"Letter M, are we online?" Lard Nar asked the young man who glanced over his shoulder.

"Not yet…"

"Wait… the Letter M? You work for Lard Nar?" Dib questioned his former classmate. "When did that happen?"

The Letter M raised a brow as he continued to work.

"He's been with us since I first brought the Resisty to this planet," Lard Nar answered coming in between the two. He leaned a little closer to Dib and whispered. "Don't tell him, but he was kind of an experiment to see if I could free someone from the Matrix. By the way, you should probably sit down soon. That pill you took is going to start making things… well, interesting I guess you could say."

"Umm… alright…" Dib said, and Skoodge motioned for him to sit on a chair in the center of the room.

As soon as he sat down, Gaz slowly trudged over to the row of monitors and took a seat next to Apoc. "I guess I'll help…" she murmured setting her Gameslave on the counter as she began typing in codes to bring their systems online. The Letter M could hardly keep up with her.

"Done," she stared at her screen. "That was stupid."

"Stay there Gaz, I'm going to need you to trace the location of your brother," Lard Nar told her as he and Skoodge began fitting Dib with white electrode disks to his head, arms, and the back of his neck.

"I don't want to," Gaz replied irritably. She folded her hands across her chest and leaned back in her chair. "The Letter M can do it."

"Yeah, fine," the Letter M said without looking up from his keyboard.

"Are you going to explain what you're doing?" Dib asked, and Lard Nar paused.

"Nope," Skoodge replied as he finished hooking up the wires. He placed headphones over the young man's ears before standing back to admire his handiwork.

"You know about virtual reality right?" Lard Nar asked drawing Dib's attention away from the Irken.

"Yeah sure, it's a program that uses things like headsets or gloves or whatever to make you feel like you're inside a computer program... but it was discontinued years ago when the economy crashed and the world experienced a second depression," Dib said.

"So if the virtual reality program was hardwired to all your senses and controlled everything you experienced, would you be able to tell real life from a computer program?"

"What are you getting at exactly…?"

"Idiot," Gaz muttered. "You still don't understand?"

"Be patient Gaz," Lard Nar remarked. "Not everyone understands right away… Skoodge, could you move that mirror in front of Dib?"

"Sure," Skoodge answered as he went to fetch the mirror.

"Just a precaution," Lard Nar explained briefly. "We wouldn't want you to go into shock."

"How is a mirror going to keep me from doing that?" Dib questioned.

"The pill is actually a trace program," Lard Nar continued ignoring Dib's question. "It has some interesting side affects, so… yeah. Brace yourself."

"For what!?" Dib demanded. He was beginning to get annoyed with all the secrecy. "Why don't you tell me what's going to happen instead of keeping everything a secret?"

"Here you go," Skoodge said dropping the mirror in front of Dib. Lard Nar stepped back and turned to the Letter M who looked up and gave him a quick nod.

"The program is beginning to take affect…"

Dib was beginning to feel a little woozy. He stared at the mirror and let out a startled gasp when it began to melt before his eyes.

"What the heck…?"

He reached out to touch it, but when he tried to bring his hand back the liquid glass stuck to him.

"Stay calm Dib," Lard Nar said biting his lip. He hated this part… even though he knew he was saving the alien from a life of imprisonment, he knew there were humans that couldn't handle the truth. "You can do this."

Dib pulled away from the coils of mirror rope, and it snapped. Shards of mercury began to fall around him. He looked at his hand as the shards faded and found the remaining liquid was beginning to crawl up his arm.

"If you give up Dib, I won't forgive you," Gaz said; her voice cutting into the illusion.

The liquid mirror began to creep up his neck. He could hear his heart beat thudding loudly in his ears as he tipped his head back.

"No way… it's everywhere… I'm going to drown…."

Lard Nar ground his teeth and placed his hand on Dib's arm. "Those headphones you're wearing are going to help us find you ok…? You aren't going to drown." He flipped out his cell phone and began dialling. "Spleenk, I need you to trace this signal! Get the ship ready! The Letter M!?" he questioned turning to the young man who was doing his best to track Dib's signal.

"It would be easier if Gaz would help me!" the Letter M exclaimed in exasperation. "Wait… I got it."

An alarm went off which caused Lard Nar to jump in surprise. "What's that!?" he asked worriedly.

"Dib's going into cardiac arrest," the Letter M replied a little too casually for the Vortian's liking.

"Well don't just sit there like a rock in the desert! Give me the coordinates so I can get the ship there!"

"Captain? Why did you call me? Hellooo…" Spleenk said over the phone. "What's going on?"

Dib's body began to spasm, fighting against the pink gelatine coating his body. He opened his eyes and let out a silent scream. There were air bubbles, but they didn't break the surface. He pressed himself up, searching for a way out, and the gelatine burst.

While he was gasping for air, he reached for the tubes and IVs connecting himself to the machine and pulled them out. His vision was blurry. He felt for the glasses he usually wore and discovered they weren't there.

"Great… I somehow almost drowned and now I can't find my glasses…" he murmured to himself. Something was touching the back of his head, and he lifted a hand to brush it away. When he touched it however, he realized it was a thick cable and it was attached to the back of his head. "Well at least I know what Gaz meant…" he murmured digging his fingers in and yanking at it. "Ouch! Ok… that's obviously not going to come off…"

Everything around him was blurred. He tried to see past his own tank, but all he could make out were blurs of something… There was a black tower, he was able to see that much, and there seemed to be rows of something attached to it.

"Wait… if I'm inside some kind of alien tank thing…" Dib's eyes widened when he realized what this meant. "I've been captured by aliens!"

Responding to the human's noise, a machine dropped down from somewhere above. Dib squinted at it.

The machine used a particle beam to scan Dib, and the human ground his teeth in pain and the scanner reacted with the wire in his head. Then, before Dib had time to question it, the back of his capsule opened up, the cable detached, and he was sucked down a tube.

**More Notes: **I was going to edit this chapter. Really. But I didn't because then it wouldn't taken even longer for me to post it, so excuse the sudden random spelling errors (there are probably some) and the heart stopping plot holes (if there is any, I'm not quite sure)


	4. Chapter 4

Author's notes: Oh my gosh... I finally got motivated to start writing this again after how many years?

Anyway... long story short, my computer got a virus, and while I thought my documents saved onto the disk... they didn't for whatever reason. I lost several stories including this one.

Now I have to start over from chapter 3. -sigh- Finishing this is going to be challenging.

**The Situation **

"Oh shoot! Shoot shoot!" Lard Nar exclaimed as he ran down the hall. Two members of his crew had been trying to keep up with him, but they had fallen behind. He wasn't sure if Spleenk had managed to catch Dib before he fell into the sewer... if they hadn't, there would be very little chance of them recovering Dib alive.

He came to a stop when he reached the hatch that led to the outer deck.

"Boss, wait for us!" Shloonktapooxis yelled. He was flying so fast, he didn't stop in time, and he smacked into Lard Nar who had just pressed the handle. The result was pretty unflattering. They ended up falling out the door and sprawling on the ground.

"Shloon... get off..." Lard Nar spoke as he tried to push himself up off the floor. He felt dizzy. Maybe he should have waited a bit longer before rushing off... he was no longer in the Matrix. His body wasn't as fast or strong, and he hadn't given his mind enough time to adjust to the real world.

"Sorry boss... you just left so fast..." Shloonktapooxis said. He floated up, allowing Lard Nar to stand.

There lying only a short distance away was Dib... Lard Nar breathed a sigh of relief. The young man had landed hard on the metal deck, but he was there at least. This entire operation wasn't a failure, unless... he approached the unconscious human and checked his pulse.

Good. He was alive after all. This was always the problem with trying to free someone from the Matrix. There was never a guarantee that they would reach the Nebber alive.

"Let's get him inside," Lard Nar told his two crew members. Ixane had just rejoined them. He was pretty sure the three of them would be able to move the young man. They probably couldn't carry him at all, but they should be able to drag him at least most of the way.

Dib groaned. He felt like he'd just fallen from his office building again. His eyes fluttered open.

"Where...?" he asked when he saw the metallic ceiling.

"It's about time you woke up."

He sat up a bit too quickly and looked over at the blurred figure who was sitting beside his bed. His vision become spotted. He felt light headed. Then he realized he was covered in wires. "What is this! What's going on!" he asked in a panic.

"Would you just shut up Dib," Gaz growled. "Your voice is obnoxious..."

"Sorry..." he mumbled. "I'm just confused. What's going on?"

"You're in the real world now," Gaz told him simply.

"Oh..." he ran a hand through his hair and felt a large gaping hole in his head. "Uh, Gaz..."

"That's always been there," Gaz remarked with a smirk.

"Well at least you're the same as ever..." he muttered. "I was really worried you know. I thought you were dead."

"Here," she stopped playing her hand-held game long enough to hand him some glasses. "The captain told me to give you this."

Dib quickly put them on and glanced around the room. He was definitely not on board any human vessel. "Can I take these wires off?" His arms were tingling. It was a weird sensation.

"If you want to end up like a sack of potatoes, go ahead."

"You really suck at explaining things you know."

A door glided open, and Lard Nar stepped into the room. "That was much harder than I thought it was going to be..." he admitted, rubbing his sore back. He's taken some pain medication after he and Ixane dragged Dib all the way there.

He forgot Shloonktapooxis didn't have hands. Freeing children was much easier than freeing an adult. This was probably going to be the last time he attempted to free anyone over the age of twelve.

Gaz stood up from her chair. "I did what you told me to," she stated, sounding annoyed. "I'm going back to my room."

"Did you tell him anything?" Lard Nar asked. Gaz had been a part of his crew for a number of years now. He knew she wasn't very good at socializing, but he was kind of hoping she would at least talk to her brother, so his crew would be less scared of her. "You know... about maybe why he's here?"

"You brought him here," Gaz retorted. "As far as I'm concerned, that's you're job." She smirked at her brother. "By the way, you're naked."

Dib frowned in thought. His eyes widened, and his face became a shade lighter. Wait, did she just say... "Ahh!" He tried to cover himself, but there was nothing he could use, and he had limited mobility thanks to the wires. It's not like he could just jump off the table. "Why didn't you say anything before!"

"You should have noticed, it's your body," Gaz stated, snickering as she turned and left the room.

Lard Nar sighed. Hopefully Dib would turn out to be the chosen one... he really didn't want to free humans this way. It was just too dangerous. "I'll get you some clothes," he said.

"Why am I naked?"

"Err..." There really was no nice way to explain what happened to the Earth. "The humans are used like batteries to power the matrix... uh, batteries don't need clothes I guess was the thought there..." Lard Nar fished for an answer. He wasn't always sure what the Irkens were thinking. "Anyway, your vitals and everything look good. Those wires can be removed."

"What is this place?" Dib asked as he began slowly picking the wires off. He was still overly aware that he wasn't wearing any clothes. "And why was I covered in wires anyway?"

"Your sister really didn't tell you anything did she?" Lard Nar ran a hand down his face. "Well... for starters, we needed a reading on your heart rate and blood pressure. Your body just suffered a pretty big shock. We didn't want you to go into cardiac arrest again or anything. Also, you haven't been using your muscles now for many years while you were floating in that tank."

"Yeah... I guess." There was a machine beeping on his right. He assumed that was probably the monitor. There was another machine sitting beside the one making noise. Most of the wires were connected to that one. "But where am I?"

"You're on the Nebber," Lard Nar explained. "It's a small ship... there isn't a lot of room. I'll give you a tour after the Letter M finds you some clothes. Right now you're in the med-bay."

"The Letter M has been here the whole time?" Dib questioned. He hadn't seen him since middle school. Everyone thought the Letter M had run away from home or something. After a few years, his parents gave up looking.

"He was the first one we were able to successfully remove from the Matrix..." Lard Nar said.

"What do you mean successfully?"Dib asked raising a brow.

"Uh..." this was a bit more embarrassing to talk about. "Well... Spleenk didn't learn how to catch over night... and that pill I gave you had to be modified a few times. The Letter M was the first successful experiment you could say. We managed to get him out somehow, but since we didn't have a system, everything was kind of sporadic."

As Lard Nar was talking, the Letter M walked into the room with a bundle of clothes. "I heard that," he informed the captain as he handed the clothes over to Dib.

Lard Nar cleared his throat and adverted his gaze from both of the humans who were giving him a weird look. "It's still a risk every time we do it... but the important thing is you're out now."

"Ok, you can tell me more in a minute," Dib spoke. He was eager to get dressed, but he didn't really want to do it with the others in the room. "After I get dressed," he added.

The captain and the Letter M took the not too subtle hint and stepped out into the hallway.

With them gone, Dib took a second to reflect on what he'd been told. The life he'd been living for the past seven years had all been an illusion. According to the captain, he had been rescued from that dream world because they believed he could destroy the Irkens.

He got dressed in what he suspected were the Letter M's clothes. They were a bit small on him, but he couldn't really see himself fitting in anyone else's.

No longer naked, he headed towards the door. Lard Nar was waiting for him in the hallway, but the Letter M had gone someplace else. The ship didn't really look that big.

"How are you feeling?" Lard Nar asked.

"Not bad considering," Dib replied adjusting his sleeves. "So I've been stuck in an alien tank for a few years... and now I'm on board your ship."

"That's right."

"Ok..." he ran a hand through his scythed hair and winced when he felt the hole in his head. "So... what's the plan?"

"You need to get caught up with the rest of us," Lard Nar admitted clasping his hands behind his back. "There's a lot you need to learn before you're ready to re-enter the Matrix. Don't worry, learning will be fairly easy." He began walking through the corridor. "Come with me. I'll introduce you to my crew."

Dib followed along behind the captain, looking around at the small space. The walls were a dull grey colour, and there were wires and cables along the ground. They passed by two steal doors and climbed up a latter.

There were a few computer systems set up on metal tables with wires twisting along the wall and over a portion of the floor. Five metal chairs with bizarre machines connected to them were set up on the far side of the room. One of the nearby screens had an endless flow of green lettering and a small satellite was fixated.

Dib couldn't help staring at all of the machinery that appeared to be mostly computers and other recognizable devices. There were a few unfamiliar pieces of alien technology thrown into the mix.

Sitting at one of the monitors was the Letter M. He seemed engrossed in whatever he was doing. The short chubby Irken from before was sitting in another chair. He smiled when he noticed Dib and his captain, and he spun around to face them.

There was another alien holding a wrench. This one had four arms, and it seemed to be working on fixing up one of the machines. Nearby was a strange looking purple cone looking thing hovering around and another alien dressed in a purple cloak.

"You!" Zim shouted, pointing a finger at Dib. "It's been a long time earth-smell! Did you enjoy your suffocating filth tank?"

"Zim...?" Dib questioned. He couldn't believe that his old nemesis was really there, shouting at him.

"I warned you didn't I?" Lard Nar told him.

"Yeah, you did," Dib said.

"Hello," the alien with the wrench greeted.

"That's Spleenk," Lard Nar explained. "Ixane is the one wearing the cloak, the other Irken is Skoodge, and he's Shloontapooxis." He gestured to the floating cone alien last.

"What is all of this stuff?" Dib questioned.

"Did your brains turn to mush Dib-stink?" Zim teased. "Surely even you can recognize computers when you see them!"

"They aren't just regular computers," Lard Nar continued with the explanation. "They're what allow us to connect to the Matrix." He walked over to one of the metal chairs. "Come sit here, I'll show you."

"Um..." Dib raised a brow. He was curious about the different devices, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be used as an alien experiment.

"We've all been," Lard Nar tried to coax him. "Several times."

"Yeah, it's much safer than being flushed into the sewers," Spleenk encouraged. "And you've already done that."

Everyone stared at the mechanic as the whole room fell into an awkward silence. "Too soon?" Spleenk asked.

"Until you've been flushed yourself, you shouldn't joke about it," the Letter M responded.

"Sorry," Spleenk said sheepishly.

Dib decided that trying out a cool piece of technology out-weighed his trust issues with aliens. If it wasn't for the captain, he would still be stuck in that virtual world. He already owed Lard Nar a favour.

"Well... alright..." he agreed somewhat hesitantly.

Fun Fact: in the original fic, Lard Nar and his crew had a lot less trouble carrying Dib. Lard Nar and Shloon also didn't have a wipe-out on the way to the deck. And you would have never known that if I didn't put this here. xD

I'll be updating this fic whenever I feel up to writing it. The motivation comes and goes. Stupid writer's block.


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